Girt By Sea Read online

PARTY EXCHANGE WITH CLINKING OF GLASSWARE.

  TAPERS OFF.

  INTERCOM Stay away!

  FX: WAVES ON BEACH

  INTERCOM Go back where you came from!

  FX: WAVES ON BEACH

  INTERCOM You're not wanted here!

  FX: WAVES ON BEACH STOP.

  (PAUSE)

  COOEE! If we offend it is with our good will.

  AUSSIE OI! We want the best

  COOEE! The very best

  AUSSIE OI! For all and sundry.

  COOEE! For you—

  AUSSIE OI! And you—

  COOEE! And you—

  AUSSIE OI! For all of us.

  COOEE! In this dry brown land do dwell.

  (PAUSE)

  AUSSIE OI! But the job market is so very, very tight.

  COOEE! Let us make this quite clear: Very tight.

  AUSSIE OI! We're not to blame.

  COOEE! Free enterprise being what it is.

  AUSSIE OI! Has its ups.

  COOEE! And downs.

  AUSSIE OI! Here –

  COOEE! As well as over there –

  AUSSIE OI! Here .. there… is-simply-not-enough-to-go-around.

  COOEE! Not enough land.

  AUSSIE OI! Think of our carrying capacity.

  COOEE! Hospital beds.

  AUSSIE OI! Think of our carrying capacity.

  COOEE! Pensions.

  AUSSIE OI! Think of our carrying capacity.

  COOEE! Money.

  AUSSIE OI! No where near enough of that.

  COOEE! Jobs.

  (PAUSE)

  AUSSIE OI! So if you are down and out ...

  COOEE! We don't want to have to be lifting up our heads and shouting:

  AUSSIE OI! Some wog's got my job!

  COOEE! Do we?

  AUSSIE OI! (ASIDE) Many lands.

  COOEE! (ASIDE) One voice.

  AUSSIE OI! But them –

  COOEE! Them. Them's a different matter.’

  AUSSIE OI! Sneaking into our country!

  COOEE! (ASIDE) And there's no way of telling them from the locals.

  AUSSIE OI! No way.

  COOEE! No bloody way!

  AUSSIE OI! If they were to-

  COOEE! Play by the rules

  AUSSIE OI! Follow procedures.

  COOEE! Join the queue.

  AUSSIE OI! They'd be most welcome here.

  COOEE! Most welcome.

  (PAUSE)

  AUSSIE OI! (AGGRESSIVELY) Don't come in the first place.

  COOEE! We're not a soft touch.

  AUSSIE OI! (ASIDE) Many lands.

  COOEE! (ASIDE) One voice.

  AUSSIE OI! But to sneak in!

  COOEE! Sneak!

  AUSSIE OI! Without an invite.

  COOEE! We don't want people like that here…

  AUSSIE OI! You never know what to expect…

  COOEE! (ASIDE) It's embarrassing…smudging our picture postcard like that.

  AUSSIE OI! We like to pick our own.

  COOEE! It takes real effort to become a bona fide Australian.

  AUSSIE OI! You don't become one by sneaking into the country, for instance.

  COOEE! That's un-Australian.

  AUSSIE OI! No. To become one you gotta play by the rules.

  COOEE! Our rules.

  COOEE!/AUSSIE OI! (TOGETHER.)

  --We're searching for identity.

  FX FIRST TWO BARS OF WALZING MATILDA. ABRUPTLY STOPS

  AUSSIE OI! (ASIDE) Many lands.

  COOEE! (ASIDE) One voice.

  AUSSIE OI! COOEE! (TOGETHER. CURSORY ATTEMPT AT SINGING) We are Aus-tray-lee-yarn.

  COOEE! And just because you're here it doesn't mean you can stay.

  AUSSIE OI! That's taking advantage.

  COOEE! Stay away

  AUSSIE OI! Stay at home.

  COOEE! Go someplace else.

  AUSSIE OI! Not here. Out there.

  COOEE! Somewhere.

  AUSSIE OI! Beyond the girt.

  FX: WAVES ON BEACH QUICKLY BUILDING IN VOLUME AND POWER WITH A RISING WIND.CRY OF SEAGULLS. MUSIC RISING ABRUPTLY: 'ONEDIN LINE THEME' (THE BALLET MUSIC FROM S